Labor and delivery can mean life or death for women, especially black women. These hospitals can be a place where we’re uncomfortable, ignored, and disrespected. That needs to change. Every woman should be properly prepared to give labor, but let’s face it, black women have some different needs and we have to prepare differently.

Honestly, I don’t feel as if I was listened to when I gave birth to my twins a month ago and that led to me going homesick and getting sicker to the point where I had to be hospitalized and away from my newborns for 5 days. I don’t want that to happen to you. Here are 15 tips to make your labor and delivery go smoother and more comfortably.

1. No Maintenance Protective Style and Your Bonnet

I was so glad that I had locs when in the hospital with my twins. The last thing I needed to worry about was my hair while in labor. Crochet braids are an excellent protective style and so are goddess braids. Make sure whatever style you choose that your hair isn’t in your face, that you can easily lay without your hair hurting or making you uncomfortable, and that it isn’t too tight. Click here for some amazing protective style ideas.

2. Bring What Delights You

What brings you bliss, calm, and inner peace? Bring That, sis! It can be music, guided meditation tracks, your journal, your cell phone, or your essential oils.

3. Find An OB You’re Comfortable With 

I mean really comfortable with. A person you can ask any questions and they answer with respect and patience. A person who respects black women and listens to our concerns. Remember this doctor may not be able to deliver your baby. This happened to me with my twins. I was finally happy that I knew the doctor that was going to deliver my twins and that I saw the same OB every appointment, but when I went into labor (the day before my scheduled c-section) she wasn’t working that night. They want me to hold out until my doctor would arrive but of course, that means nothing to babies. A doctor I never saw before did my c-section. 

• 

4. Find A Lactation Consultant 

If breastfeeding is a goal for you, you should definitely work with a lactation consultant. Your hospital may have a lactation consultant team that will assist you and your insurance may cover lactation consultant visits outside of your hospital. They can make sure your little one is latching properly, getting the proper amount of milk, and more. Click here to see how my lactation consultant kept me from quitting breastfeeding with my son. 

5. That Girl Friend Who Takes No Shit!

You need someone who loves you, knows you, and who you’ve talked to about your labor and delivery wants and needs. This person can be your girlfriend, your mama, your auntie, your doula (see number 6). She’s going to make sure that the medical team is treating you with respect and dignity.

6. Find A Doula 

OMG. If I can do it all again, I would’ve made sure I had a doula for my twin pregnancy. Why? I believe that a lot of medical professionals don’t listen to black women. That can mean life or death for us. A doula will speak up for you. A doula will make sure your needs and birth plan are met. They will also make sure that if there needs to be interventions that you understand why and what’s about to happen.

7. Spirituality

Bring your bible, Koran, crystals, guided meditation, or whatever connects you to your source.

8. Dad’s Hospital Bag

Don’t forget daddy’s bag. Ain’t nobody got time for him to run home. We need daddy performing all of his daddy duties! This goes for anyone else who may be staying with you.  

9. Your Hospital Bag

All of the things you need should mostly be packed in your bag. I say mostly because some things may be stuff you’re still using like your charger, camera, etc.

10. Baby’s Hospital Outfits

So not only do you want your baby’s homegoing outfit, but you may also want to bring onesies for the other days. Of course, the hospital will supply some things, so it’s totally up to you. I know you’ve been on Etsy getting the cutest outfits but you’re going to want to go simply because you will be changing your newborn all the time. Onesies, sleeping gowns, and sleepers that zip from the bottom are easiest.

11. Your Going Home Outfit

You want to bring an outfit for you to wear home. Keep it loose and you may want to bring your maternity clothes because it may take a while to fit back into your pre-pregnancy clothes. You may also want your own robe, loose yoga pants, and nursing shirts.

12. Blanket

If you’re like me, you’re always cold especially in cold hospitals. So I like my own thick blanket. Make sure it’s not something that you don’t mind getting soiled. 

13. Skin/Hair/Personal Care Products For Labor and Delivery

Bring your travel size hair and body moisturizer. Bring your preferred soap and other toiletries. 

14. Bring Your Safe Car Seat

Don’t forget to have your car seats installed properly. I usually have the fire department install my car seats. Check with your local fire department to see if they provide this service. 

15. Bring your boldness

Gabrielle Union once said, “Don’t be afraid to be the pesky patient.” Your life and your baby’s life are at stake when you are giving birth and afterward. You need to ask questions, interject, and say what’s on your mind. You need to understand that you don’t have to give consent to what you don’t agree with. You need to make sure you are heard! If something doesn’t feel right tell them and keep telling them. Don’t be afraid to get the charge nurse, the patient advocate, or a social worker if they are listening to you.

What made your labor and delivery better? Let us know below!